Looking Low for the Truth

Hey friends,

My life was primarily “up and to the right” until 2012. On paper, it all worked—until it didn’t.

That season became a journey into the depths—the dark night of the soul. At first, I resisted it. Darkness, loss, pain, uncertainty, and mystery felt like too much to hold, too much to look into. But eventually, I had no choice but to go inside and look around.

Mary Oliver once wrote:

Thirteen years later, I understand what she meant. The “box of darkness” wasn’t punishment—it was initiation. The more I’ve looked into the nothingness, the more I’ve found Everything.

The silence holds all I need, in contrast to the flashing lights and endless noise the world offers. In stillness and solitude, I return again and again to the garden where I align with the Infinite—and find myself belonging once more to “the family of things.” There, the illusions of separation fall away. There, I find my footing: grounded, whole, and unmissing.

Carl Jung once said, “Modern man can’t see God because he doesn’t look low enough.” Maybe that’s the invitation for all of us. We won’t find it on our mountaintops. We won’t find it in our 401(k)s, résumés, or trophy cases. But if we’re willing to look low—to look into the places of our own poverty—there, we discover Endless Love pouring Itself out as our very life.

These days, when it feels a little dark—when clarity seems out of reach and confusion begins to stir—I’ve come to recognize it as an invitation to get quiet and return to the dark once more. Each time I reemerge, I carry a truth that feels both deeply personal and quietly universal—something distilled and refined, just enough for the road ahead.

And here we are now, in the fall…
The sun sets a little earlier, the days offer a little less light, and the trees are whispering their truth about the beauty of what changes—and what never changes.

I share this as an invitation:
If you find yourself in a season of darkness, confusion, or uncertainty, perhaps you need to get curious about it. Get interested in it. There may be a gift waiting there, too.

In the end, my no-thing-ness has been the doorway to Everything.

So yes—the truth is found at the bottom.
And maybe what we all need is a simple practice or ritual each day to greet the nothingness,
so that the Everything can reintroduce Itself into our lives.

With love and light,
Ashton

P.S. If this theme speaks to you, here’s a podcast I recorded a while back: “10 Years Ago I Found Out Who I Wasn’t.”
🎧 Listen here