Yes Will Make Your Life, But No Will Save It

Hey friends,

There’s a beautiful old tradition called Via Negativa — “the negative way.”
It’s a contemplative path, used in theology, that seeks to understand something not by what it is, but by what it is not. It’s how mystics have often described God: as that which is beyond our comprehension, beyond words, beyond form.

But I’ve come to see that Via Negativa also has something profound to teach us about how to live.

When I long to lead a life I love — a life I can fully say yes to — I first have to become clear on what I don’t want. This isn’t cynicism or pessimism. It’s intentionality. It’s the practice of defining the boundaries of the good life — not by adding more, but by subtracting what doesn’t belong.

The same applies to relationships and vocation. Before the right yes can flourish, we often need to prune the false ones.

So as you enter the week ahead, pause and ask:
What am I saying yes to — and do I really want to?
Are these yes’s leading me toward goodness, truth, and beauty… or away from them?

And then — maybe more importantly — where do I need to reclaim my no?
Not from bitterness or fear, but from love. Because your no protects what matters most.

Many of us fear the no — we don’t want to disappoint people, places, or expectations. But this is your one, precious life. And when you begin to let the no’s that don’t bring peace and joy fade away, something remarkable emerges — a life that feels sustainable, exciting, enjoyable, and truly yours.

Who doesn’t want that?

Here’s a short reflection from poet David Whyte on Via Negativa that captures this beautifully:
🎥 Watch here

Big love,
Ashton

P.S. - Last weekend, I said yes to a new opportunity that allows me to explore my art and creativity. I’m excited to share more in the months ahead! Stay tuned! 🎵